just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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