would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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