Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
