I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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