I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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