Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You took a bar mat shot.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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