At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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