Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
