So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
