i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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