party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
