i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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