I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
