I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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