Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
