I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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