so that wasnt chicken after all
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
