I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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