Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
