im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
