What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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