So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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