your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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