well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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