who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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