Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
