im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
