best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize