just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the day after is always just damage control
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
