idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
