So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
