Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
