I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i was born a porn star she said
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
