You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
