Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
