I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My ATM looks so different sober.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
