This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
