So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
