I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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