i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I pour the whiskey from now on
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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