Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
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I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
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People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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