Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
