he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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