I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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