Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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