one two three fourrrrnication!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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