I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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