his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
