Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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