Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
