uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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