I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
