don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
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Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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