i can't believe i had my finger in that
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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