i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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