no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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