hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
