one might say we're banned from that church
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
