they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
