I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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